life of a teenage vampire

This is an exact copy of an email I sent to purplelev

I scrawled the notes about my dream on two of my unpaid bill envelopes so, as usual, this will be a bit fragmented.

Ok so the first part - SPACE SASUNARU!

No, no, I'm not kidding. Basically it's pretty much the same story as before, sasuke runs off with Ochi and bla bla bla. But it's in an alternate reality where they are more like space fighters than ninja. Anyways, there is a big fight, a planet gets blow up and sasuke saves naruto's life. There were several really romantic moments between them that I just don't have the time to go into. I swear I was awwww-ing in my sleep. Anywho. They are all sleeping in like this community bunker thingy. Naruto is looking longingly at where sasuke is sleeping. The ninja who chews on the long toothpicks (what is his name?) who is snuggling with another male ninja (you know they are all gay) turns on this really loud fan. Naruto looks up at him, confused. He smiles, "We can't hear anything with this thing on." Naruto blushes and smiles. The guy flicks a condom at him and says, "have fun Naruto." Then settles off to sleep. OMG so funny and adorable. Yes then the hot mansex - omg all sweaty in cramped spaces. Lots of noises. It was made of awesome.

Second dream.

I land in the middle of battle in naruto land. I am wearing a triangle bikini top and I realize it is on upside down so everyone can see my nipples. Of course I'm right in front of jiraiya. I run to the bathroom that has mysteriously appeared. A female ninja fixes this for me. Wtf - really.

Third dream.

I land in the middle of battle - again. I rush in to save kakashi from flying poison needles with my super awesome ninja speed. I he is impressed with my skills and then notices I have a cut on my sleeve. He rips off my sleeve and starts sucking the poison out of my arm. Oh yes mommy - daddy - oh yes, oh yes. He's asking me how I got there and how I know his name when Iruka pops up out of the water (we are on a log in a lake O_o?). I squee "Iruka sense!" He's like O_o how do you know my name? Then I'm fighting again. I look back and there *you* are, hiding in the cliffs.
U: "omg can you believe kakashi sucked on your arm? I'm so jealous!"
Me: "I know! Hide or else they'll see you."
U: "Don't you wish this was real life?"
Me: "totally."

Then we are being sucked up in the air and transported back to where we were from. That's when we learn the mystery of how we get to the other universe - - sliding down the hill in a large cardboard box! It all makes sense now! Apparently this is also related to a pencil that makes whatever you draw come to life. The kid who first found it drew this weird clown who won't go away. Except for he kind of left the clown to his own devices and now it's like buying prostitutes and trying to bum money off us. We eventually kill the clown.  

But then there was this old guy who was sad cause he couldn't push the box down the hill fast enough anymore. So he wrote a book asking Tsunade to send him proof that he had visited the village once because now everyone thinks he's crazy and he's sad about that. ( i know. I know ) So Tsunade get's the book and is reporting this to her top ninjas. When one asks, "wait, does this mean that the story of the girls visiting the falls during the battle was real?"
another: "so fangirls do exist?"
Kakashi: "I've heard they're total perverts."
jiraiya: "yeah you should totally tell us where to find them."

That was basically the end of it. Really, the end was the funniest part. :op

~kat